A little deeper than normal.....

Sometimes, I wonder if I am a good mom. Everyone says I am and most days I feel that I am but deep deep down, am I really? I mean, there are times, like tonight, that I am sitting with my kiddos while their daddy is out of town and I can't wait for bedtime so that I can have a minute of peace. Nights when I listen to my oldest say "talk to me some more" and all I can think about is when in the world these two will finish their dinner so we can get home. I am guilty of saying "oh we will do that later" and then, well, you guessed it, later never comes. And most days, I don't feel guilty, I am only human right? But others, I sit and wonder how in the world these poor children got me for a mother. I mean, seriously, am I really qualified to be doing this?

I find that life, in it's entirety makes it very hard to be the mom I truly want to be. With laundry to do, dinner to cook, the ringing phone, and the unattended emails, when does anyone have time to read a book over and over and over again to a very persistent two year old? Sometimes I can't wait for silence and others I can't wait for the laughter my two can bring.

After putting my two little loves in their beds tonight, I decided to do a little reflecting. And I came up with this. I am a good mom. I love my children, I accept them for who they are and love them for their good qualities and their not so good ones too. I am not fussy about the things that really don't matter and not over bearing about the things that do. I am thankful for them everyday and am thankful for the chance to be somebodies mom! And knowing that I feel this way, then why in the world could I question why they were sent from above to be mine?

I need a little balance. That is all. I am not perfect and never will be but I am a pretty cool mom that loves these babies and while they are young enough to want me to cuddle and read and play and sing, I am going to say this:

The computer can wait, the phone can ring, the dinner can burn and the clothes can stay dirty. Right now, I am going to love on my babies.